The Perspective Perspective

I received a novel recently that was pretty much written, except I was hired to "fix it up." I like this kind of work because it's kind of like redecorating a house -- I've got the basic foundation and architecture, and get to move the furniture around. Or better yet, buy new furniture.

In this case, the basic text was . . . um . . . rudimentary. One of the many problems I encountered was a fluctuating change of perspective. For example, in one paragraph, Meredith would think "Maybe Sam is stealing from me." And in the next paragraph, Sam would consider having dinner at IHOP.

There is no way to fix this except to excise the extra bit of inner thought.

Whose story is it, anyway?

I understand why some writers make this mistake -- they believe omniscient means they can flutter from one character's brain to the next because, like God, they can. They fail to consider that it A) confuses the reader, B) doesn't make for an interesting story, and C) is just plain bad writing.

I just want to calmly set this writer down and say "Would you write something like 'I walked into the kitchen and my husband thought "I've got to buy some powder for my jock itch."'?"

"Of course not. How would the wife know what the husband is thinking?"

"Then why did you do that in this passage between Meredith and Sam?"

"Um, well, it's third person."

"Um, so? The same rule applies."

"Really?" this other author says, and then gives me a 25% bonus for my insightful insight.

On the other hand, if I teach them how to avoid these mistakes, I'll eventually not be needed to help them out anymore.

Silence = career security?